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*What A Long Strange Trip It's Been* The Grateful Dead |
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Talia's Not So Brief Biography Where I've Been, Where I Am and Where I'm Going
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General Information Ok....So who is this Talia Bluegrass broad? Let's start with some basics. Marital Status:
Stats:
Education:
Occupation:
Hobbies:
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Biography
Ancient History Now that we've got the statistics out of the way...(and you know what they say...*There are lies, DAMNED lies and statistics*) let's get narrative, shall we? I'm going to try not to make this long and drawn out. Firstly, because my *early years* are a crashing bore, and secondly because I've got a rotten memory. I had an embarrassingly normal childhood. My mother didn't dress me up like a girl, nor did I dress in my mother's clothing. I experiment with dressing up a bit like all children do, but I never felt any overwhelming desire to do it all the time. In general, I didn't have much interest in clothing of either gender , until I hit Junior High School. Then, I dressed in the flashiest boy clothes available. As a result, I was often thought of as *gay* because I dressed well. Geez...were THEY ever wrong! I majored in Theatre in college...fell in love and got married to a woman PHD candidate 7 years my senior, and moved to the DEEP SOUTH. One of my first wife's MANY quirks was ONLY going to gay bars. (This eliminated the worry of her being *hit on*) This is where I first encountered anyone from the Transgendered Community. I was fascinated....not so much by the Drag Queens who I saw as performers, but rather the T-Girls who just came to watch the shows. I had performed several *drag* roles in college plays, and wondered if I could ever look as good as that. The seed was planted. Well...that kills the first 20 years of my life.
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Late 20th Century Comes the year 1999..... Over the past 20 years, I've looked at my share of Transgender magazines, seen more than a couple of movies, and with popularization of the internet, visited a vast number of T-Girl's web sites. My fascination was rekindled. I started to experiment with trying on dresses. I loved the feeling of freedom and femininity that I got when I put a dress on, but I WASN'T pleased with what I saw in the mirror. What I saw was a 43 year old man with furry arms and legs and long hair down to the middle of his back. I thought...*I can NEVER look as good as the girls I see on the net.* But, I enjoyed expressing the feminine side of me, and began to develop a female persona. I started logging into a dreadful chat room as *Talia*. There in the trenches, l learned quickly that there are some real nuts out there in cyber space. No pictures were posted, and if someone DID put up a link to a picture that they claimed was of them, 9 times out of 10, it was stolen from a porn site. I endured the endless repetition of the classic question, *What are you wearing?* ( I almost NEVER dress when I chat. If I dress, I'm GOING somewhere.) I fought off offers for cyber-sex, (the idea of which STILL baffles me...GAWD...some folks can't even *beat off* without help.) sex in public bathrooms, hotel rooms, private bedrooms, different states, different countries, and one on memorable occasion, another planet...sex involving feathers, leather, satin, and.... the list goes on. Being a fairly good judge of character, I latched on to other girls who were sincere and NOT looking to *wank off*. I joined an on-line support group and would shepherd other serious girls to join as well. The beginnings of Talia...the REAL Talia had been formed.
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The Millennium Arrives With Talia In it's
Wake Comes the year 2000.... I found a new chat room. This one had nice people in it. They talked about normal everyday things. They shared their troubles and triumphs. They posted pictures of themselves....REAL pictures. They tossed people out who solicited cyber-sex. There was only one problem...I didn't HAVE a picture. People were hesitant to trust me, and putting myself in their pumps, I could understand why. I wanted very much to be a part of this wonderful group of people. I'd cut my hair short again, so I began experimenting with wigs, and found a flattering style. Finally, I decided to take the BIG step: Do EVERYTHING together...Make Up, Wig Dress. I brought along my digital camera, just in case I might want to take a picture.....*G* (If THAT didn't prove I was TG...NOTHING would!) The results of my first effort was, by my standards today, crude...but workable. What's important was that when I looked in the mirror...I saw a woman....and once again...I was fascinated! Who was this person? Was she really part of me? Yes...she was and she wasn't. I didn't know her well, but I sure wanted to get to know her better. Most important of all ....I LIKED her! I began posting my pictures in the nice chat room. I got positive feedback and began to develop good, solid, HEALTHY friendships. By the end of the year, I was confident enough to take the next logical step: Going out and meeting people in *real time*. Because I was married, this caused a number of problems. Being a resourceful girl, I overcame them. I had to hide my wardrobe. I became proficient in *transforming* in the car, earning me the nickname SUPERGIRL. I didn't *lie* to my wife about where I was going....but I didn't tell her the whole truth either. (This is NOT something I'm proud of. If I had it to do again, things would be MUCH different.) I didn't go out often...maybe 5 times total for that year. It was frightening, enlightening and WONDERFUL! I never went to a club unless I was meeting someone that I'd chatted with extensively and knew to be cool. I enjoyed the company of other girls, the drag shows and even the 2 hour drive to get there. I continued to improve my make-up skills and 10 sec dash skills to get in place before the camera timer took the picture. Talia was now coming together.
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The Present Which brings us to the present. Nearly two years ago, a dear friend from chat asked me a question that would drastically change my life. She said, *With your increased interest in going out, wouldn't it be better to tell your wife about dressing up as a girl than having her find out?* My initial reaction was of course, *I could NEVER tell her that!* But the more I thought about it, the more I knew my friend was right. I OWED the wonderful woman that I married the TRUTH. And it would be far better to tell her when I was prepared to answer some VERY difficult questions that she would no doubt have. If you are interested in the details of the process that I went through to prepare, please see Help Pages/Secrets. You'll also get some unsolicited advice from your *Dutch Auntie*Talia. I worked hard to improve my "look" over the past several years, and that is an on-going process! As I got more comfortable with going out in public, I joined a social organization called The Southern Belle Society and have met many new wonderful friends as a result. (See Help Pages/Resources/Links) In January 2003, I made my Drag Debut as PANIC. (See Help Pages/Drag) In September, I plan to attend The Southern Comfort Convention in Atlanta, a gathering of Transgendered people from all over the world. I'll be sure to report my experiences there! Now I continue to try to live by my two *tag lines* *Keeping the ASS in Bluegrass* and *Creating PANIC in the Bluegrass* So after reading this, you know a little bit about me, have wasted a fair amount of time and are a little bit older. I certainly hope it was worth it! Enjoy the rest of your stay here.
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