What's New?

Talia

Help Pages

    Glossary

    Being T

    Secrets

    Make Up

    Drag

    Resources

an amateur's perspective

Uhhhh....well.....why not?

I cant’ help it. Performance is in my blood. I’ve been involved in live theatre since the third grade. This certainly helps to explain how I choose to dress and present myself. My motto is....*If I’m gonna dress...I’m gonna DRESS!*

Doing Drag  seemed to be a natural extension of something that I’ve enjoyed doing all my life.

What follows is my experience with doing my first Drag Show. It began life as an email to my *Fairy Drag Mother* Renee Reyes. (Please note the Renee isn’t my official Drag Mom, but she’s the closet thing that I have to one...*G*.)  I learned a lot...and maybe you can avoid some of the pitfalls that I encountered by reading about my experience. 

If you’ve ever considered doing Drag or are planning to *tread the boards*....READ ON!

One of the things that I told the Goddess, when I told her my *Secret* was that I would like to do Drag at least once. She of course was dubious...but gamely went along with the idea.

I started gathering information to make my Drag dream come true in the Spring of 2002. My first step was to contact someone who knew something about doing Drag...and of course I chose Renee. Through several e-mails and phone conversations...I was able to get the answers to the following nuts and bolts questions.

How do I do Drag Make Up?

Where can I get a good wig?

What kind of persona do I want to create?

What name should I use?

What *hook* or specialty should I create?

What makes a good song to perform to?

Do I use cassettes or CD’s?

How many songs should I have prepared to perform?

What is a Drag Mother? Should I have one?

Do I HAVE to *shave, tuck and tape*?

You may have MORE questions than I did....but you have to start SOMEWHERE!

Renee (bless her heart) was patient with me, answered my questions and pointed me toward resources that would help me with my make up and wigs. She was just finishing the wig and make up sections on her website....so for once.... my timing was impeccable. (Check my Resources page for great links to drag related items and information).

Step 1:  PERSONA

Renee explained to me that even though I’m TG, if I wanted to be a Drag Performer I’d need to create another persona when I stepped out on the stage...just as an actor does creating a character.

She emphasized that it’s important to keep those two personas SEPARATE.  To help keep things clear, another name was in order. (GAWD...I’ve got the boy persona, the girl persona....and now....the Drag persona. I’m starting to feel like Sybil....LOL)

Step 2:  *Ya Gotta have a Gimmick*

In order to stand out from the pack, a performer needs to have a *hook* or specialty....something that they do that is unique to them.

You may be an excellent trained (or naturally gifted) dancer. You might be able to do flips or gymnastic movements. You may have a great voice and sing live. You might play a musical instrument. You might work with a specific prop (I’ve actually seen a ventriloquist Drag Performer....GAWD....wouldn’t a shrink have a hey-day with THAT one...?????  LOL).

What is important is that you have SOME kind of talent that the audience will want to see or hear. Very few girls are beautiful enough to just step out on stage, stand still, and lip synch to a song. And even then...they need fantastic costumes to back that look up.

Step 3:  Music, Music, Music!

Next, came the song. Renee explained that a good song is one that is DYNAMIC and CHANGES. Once again...like a play, it needs to have a beginning, a middle and an end. It also needs to build to a climax. And although it is more a dance expression, one needs to ACT the number as well...almost creating an internal "storyline" that one performs. The changes in the song can take a variety of forms... tempo changes being obvious ones, but also in other ways.

Here are some silly examples to help me make this point. Row, Row, Row Your Boat would be a poor choice. It’s static, repetitive, unchanging and has only a beginning and a middle but no end. A better choice would be We’re So Sorry Uncle Albert, Layla, or that old chestnut Mc Arthur Park These songs grow and change in terms of tempo and mood. They have different *sections* to them, giving the performer a chance to change mood and tempo right along with the song. This of course is more fun for the performer and in turn for the audience. Now...how many of these types of songs are written? Not many. If you find one...latch on to it and protect it like it’s made of gold! Another option would be to have a song mixed for you or several songs spliced together. Make friends with a DJ!!! Not only can they help you with technical things of this nature, but can keep you informed about new music that you can use.

The cassette tape vs CD question was an easy one. My thought was *Gee...clubs may not have the most up to date sound equipment*. DUH!!!! Was that ever stupid. They play DANCE music for GAWD’S sake! They have DJ’s. They have better sound and light systems than a lot of professional theatre companies. Renee told me that either cassette or CD would be fine, but that of course the CD was superior and that the cassette tape would have to be of excellent quality.

I also asked my DJ friend Kevin about this topic. To say that he sneered at the idea of a cassette tape and looked at me like I was a lower life form that had just crapped in his hat would be a grand understatement. Go with a CD.

Renee advised me to just prepare ONE song, and do it well! Impress the hell out of them with the one song, make it professional and polished to show the seasoned performers that I was serious about performing. This was excellent advise. Too bad I didn’t end up following it. Sigh.......

Step 4:  Your New Relative

Which leads to the question of the Drag Mother. A Drag Mother is a seasoned performer who serves as mentor, friend, advisor and critic to a new Drag Performer.

This important individual should be chosen with care and must be not only willing but EAGER to adopt you as their Drag Daughter. This is the person you will turn to for advise about everything Drag, from make up tips, to a good kick in the ass when your inner Diva emerges.

To date, I still don’t have a real Drag Mother...but am in the *Long Distance Drag Foster Care System*....LOL.

Step 5:  *Packaging* Yourself

This section has nothing to do with advertising, demographics or business practices.  It's the shave, tuck and tape question.

In my defense, I’d seen many pictures of Renee that she customarily takes after she gets home from the club. If you’re like me...you scrutinize those shots very closely. It doesn’t take a microscopic inspection to determine that Renee isn’t taped, or tucked. Ok...I’ll admit it...I’ve got more than a bit of hero worship going on when it comes to Renee and I thought, "Ok...Renee doesn’t tuck, so I won’t either". Once again...I MADE A MISTAKE.

In no uncertain terms, Renee explained that going out to the club and PERFORMING were two different animals entirely. If you do Drag...YOU TUCK AND YOU TAPE. No if, and or butts. In addition...in order to tuck and tape...you have to SHAVE. For the morbidly curious...I’ll go more into shaving, tucking and taping a bit later on.  (See Illusions)

Step 6:  OBSERVE and REHEARSE

One last thing that Renee told me I should do. WATCH OTHER PERFORMERS to see what they do and REHEARSE till it hurt!  This was great advise but hard to follow. Sometimes it’s difficult to see the forest for the trees...so while I watched...I often didn’t focus on specifics and was distracted by how damn beautiful the girls were and how effortless they made their performance look.  I rehearsed...but not till it hurt.  Don't be like me.....FOLLOW THIS ADVISE TO THE LETTER!

The Beginning

The following is a chronicle of my Drag Experience in three parts:  The Beginning (how I got ready), The Middle (the actual performance, and The End (what I learned).

Now..... armed with a dream and just enough information to make me dangerous....I made the following decisions and launched into the process.

I gave myself a deadline. I would have my Drag debut in October.

I ordered Raven’s Drag 101 video.

I settled on PANIC as my Drag Name. I wanted something memorable, a bit wild, a bit unpredictable and a bit dangerous. (Choosing a name is VERY important and should be done with a good deal of thought. Think of names that you want to live with for a LONG time. Recently...I saw a picture of a Drag performer named Twiggy. She may well have fit the name 15 years ago. She doesn’t now. Also, be careful about *cutesy* or *pun* names. Ask yourself, *How long will the name Imma Hornee be funny?*

My *hook* or specialty would be working with swords and weapons (I’ve had training in Stage Combat and Fight Choreography).

My song would be HINDI SAD DIAMONDS from the MOULIN ROUGE soundtrack. It has a decidedly *Indian* theme to it, so I designed a wig and costume that was *Indian* as well. I sent my wig design off to Chris at Hollywood Wigs and Toys and started drafting the pattern for my costume. (I design, pattern and make costumes as part of my job...so I haven’t spent much time on How Do I Come Up With A Costume. I’ll cover that problem in a future update). I found several really kewl (but as I was to discover later absolutely USELESS) pairs of shoes on eBay and won the bidding on them. I also found some great rhinestone jewelry pieces.

I then started to get really chummy with my music. HINDI SAD DIAMONDS has a section that is sung in Indian (Or whatever people in India speak...I’ll admit to being ignorant here...*G*) This of course was a problem...so I hit the web looking for the lyrics. What I found was less than useful. I discovered that most people who transcribed the lyrics had less of an idea of what language is spoken in India than I do....so what I ended up with at best was a bunch of half assed attempts at working out what was being said phonetically using some arcane system know only to the web page’s author, and at worst... the equivalent of "la, la, la, la". So...I did my best. I made a cassette tape of the song....just that song, repeated over and over. It’s all I listened to in the car when I’d drive anywhere. After about a 3 months of this...I became SO familiar with the song...I could sing it in my sleep. I had the timing of the pauses down perfectly. I even knew when the singers took breaths and took my breaths at the same time. The song and the lyrics became second nature to me and I no longer had to even think about it. While listening to the song...movements and hand gestures suggested themselves. Also, I researched Indian art to get a feel for formalized poses that I could include in my choreography. I determined how the song would be structured...and where I could accept tips if they were offered. But I was in no way counting on anyone tipping me...and made sure I had choreography for every minute that I was on stage.

My wig arrived! It was WONDERFUL and it gave me a big boost! In addition, my sword arrived too!  It was the perfect length, light and well balanced.  Perfectly suited to my needs.   About this time, I started working on the Goddess about getting my other ear pierced and having a second hole put in my left ear. I appealed to her in the follow way. Clip earrings HURT and have a greater likelihood of flying off when performing. I also promised to wear simple gold wire hoops when I was in boy mode. I think she gave in mostly to stop me whining. LOL! Anyway...I did get my ears pierced which is a rather entertain story in and of itself....but, as they say in the Conan movies...*That is a story for another day*.  (This saga is told in Help/Make Up/Acessories)

Time passed , the summer ended and life intruded. I had to put everything on hold. October arrived...and as things happened, I ended up being hostess for a SBS Social in Louisville which ate up a lot more time and energy than I thought it would. There was no way I could meet my self imposed debut deadline, so I pushed it back to January.

In November, I finally got some time to spend working with Raven’s video. My make up skills improved DRAMATICALLY! However...I still couldn’t find the time to devote to choreographing my number. I played around with some ideas and began to work on the sword choreography section...but I felt *icky* rehearsing in no make up wearing platform shoes and looking like a boy. I’d gotten the costume 75% done, but just needed to finish and attach the leg. This happened just before Christmas.

Christmas came and so did holiday visits to the family....so once again things were put on hold. I was running out of time. During this time...I found another song that had an *Indian* sound to it, and decided that I wouldn’t be able to do my original idea justice, so I learned the lyrics to it. It would be FAR easier to perform, because it was all one tempo and I thought I’d be able to *act* the song and that would make up for my lack of choreography. I could just wiggle a bit and let the lyrics and my great costume sell the piece to the audience. Mistake #1. Stupid!!!!!

After coming home from the obligatory family visits, I had a week of vacation left to me. I used it to my best advantage.

My rendering for my costume

The new wig!

My first attempt at Raven's Make Up Techniques

My Drag *Interview* Outfit

The local club that I frequent is a wonderful place! I was very impressed with the level of talented individuals who perform there. Even more important, the performers were NICE! They seemed to be very much a *family* and I felt that I would be welcome there. On previous visits to the club, I had paced off the size of the stage (not easy to do in 5" platform heels, I might add.) But I hadn’t talked to anyone about had *amateur night* or *open mic night* (I’d heard it called both...this will become an important point a bit later on). So I went to get details about what I needed to do in order to perform there. (Bear in mind, each club will have different requirements. If amateur night is a contest...an entrance fee will be charged.)

During the break between the first and second show, I spoke to the person in charge of shepherding amateurs and she was VERY sweet. But I discovered that I had some new technical lingo to learn.

She said, *Ok! So you want to work next Thursday?*

Wanting to make sure she didn’t think I wanted to get paid for anything, I said, *Uh.....you mean perform? Yes, I do! *

*Ok!*, she replied *You need to be here at 8:30 at the latest. I’m usually here by 7:30 so, anytime between that and 8:30 is cool. You come in face. *

Now...I was pretty sure that I understood what she meant...but I checked just in case. *So I should be here a little after 7:30 in make up and costume?*

She said, "You don’t have to wear your costume. You can come in sweats or whatever and change in the dressing room. There’s just no painting backstage, ok? So what’s your name sweetie?*

Whew...I did indeed understand. But of course the name question took me off guard, so like an idiot I said *Uhhhh...well....my name is Talia, but my Drag name is Panic.*

She smiled and gave me a hug and said, *It’s nice to meet you Panic. I’ll put you on the schedule for next week then. As an amateur, you can do 3 songs.*

ACCCK!!!!!! THREE songs????? GAWD...Rene said ONE song. Dammit...I KNEW I should have worked up more songs!!!!!

Once again my superior language skills surfaced. "Uhhhhhh...three songs? I really only have one prepared. I MIGHT be able to do two songs, but there’s no way I can do three. Is that alright?*

She laughed and said, *Sure honey! You don’t have to do 3 songs, but you can do that many if you want to.*

I didn’t want to appear to be the *piker* I was, so I said, *Oh, ok. I’ll see if I can’t work up another song*

*Great*, she said, *I’ll see you next week then, Panic.*

So...Mistake #2 was carved in stone. I’d committed to doing more than I had adequately prepared. Now I was doing 2 songs in the same costume and wig, and I only had a week to get everything together. STUPID, STUPID!!!!!

For the next several days, I finished up my costume, and listened to my two songs while I worked. I worked on the choreography in between sewing on trim and faux jewels. However, the siren call of the THIRD song started calling to me. So, I decided *What the Hell? I’ll pick out a slow walk and talk song and do the third song.* So I did. Mistake #3.....STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!

I’d gotten a very pretty formal gown off of Ebay just before Christmas that I could alter quickly and would give me a 2^nd costume. A friend had also sent me a box of shoes...one pair of which were gold and would look perfect with the dress.

The week passed quickly, with me devoting several hours a day to rehearsing the choreography that I worked out for HINDI SAD DIAMONDS, and the *movement* that I’d worked out for the other two numbers. Mistake #4. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!!! *Movement* is not the same as choreography. Choreography is interesting to watch....Movement ain’t.

Thursday finally arrived and with it...a WINTER STORM WARNING. At 4:00 it started to snow. The Goddess, had just gotten back that afternoon from California. She and a friend had driven 26 hours straight from New Mexico to beat the storm. She was exhausted and I said I certainly understood that she would rather get some sleep than come and watch me perform. So while she rested...I got into face....(see? I can talk the talk...*G*)

I think you know by now how the Goddess feels about me DWD (Driving While Dressed). To her credit, she was swayed by my argument in this instance. I told her that NO cop could mistake me for anything but a performer in my wig and make up.

By the time I was ready to leave, the weather was HORRID! When I was just about ready, The Goddess got up and did something that was probably the highlight of the entire evening. Without me having to ask her, she started my car, cleaned the snow off it and loaded all my crap into it for me. When I put on my coat....she held my hair for me so it wouldn't get caught inside my coat. For the first time since I've been dressing, I was treated like a lady. More importantly for the first time I really FELT like a lady. I almost cried.

I had invited two people that I work with and one other friend to see me perform...but also said I would understand if the weather was too bad, and they didn't want to chance the drive. The roads however, (by my standards at least) weren't bad at all...and I arrived exactly on time.

Now...here is where one's mind starts pulling shit on you. During the 45 minute drive to the club, I started thinking...*Is tonight amateur night or was it really LAST night? GAWD! I can't remember if it was Wednesday or Thursday!* By the time I arrived...I'd convinced myself that I'd gotten the day wrong.

I walked into the club, and stopped to ask the bartender where to go. She wasn't paying the least bit of attention...so I waited to catch her eye. Fortunately...the phone rang, or I'd still be standing there. She looked at me and smiled as she picked up the phone. As she answered the caller’s questions, she mentioned a special guest performer.

She looked at me and said...*Oh, what is her name?*

Being the dolt that I am, I replied...*I'm not her.*

The bartender said, *Yes I know. (That was a real ego boost....LOL) Could you read her name off the poster in the corner behind you?*

I'm not sure my blush made it all the way through the 82 layers of paint on my face....but I sure as hell felt pretty warm. I did as she asked.

After a couple of minutes, the bartender ended her call.

I said, *Hi! I'm here for open mic night.*

She replied, *Oh that was last night....we used to do amateur drag nights on Thursdays but I don't think we do that anymore.*

Of course, my worst fears had been confirmed. My heart dropped somewhere around the level of my ankles.

I said, *Well....I talked to the amateur coordinator last week about performing.....".

And the bartender replied...*OH! You talked to HER? Ok....I think she's here...let me call her. She'll take care of you then. See, we used to do Karaoke on Wednesday nights but quit that...I guess we're still doing amateur drag night.*

From all this, I learned that the organizational structure here was rather....loose? LOL! Also...I learned that the terms *open mic night* and *amateur drag night* been inaccurately used as interchangeable and were in fact mutually exclusive.

When the blood returned to my head...and my heart started beating again....I went to the dressing room door and RS the Drag coordinator met me there. Bless her heart, she remembered me as Panic from the previous week and introduced me to the other amateur performer scheduled for the evening and showed me where I could set up my stuff. She admired my wig, and my second costume that I was carrying and said...*OOOOO, girl! I love that dress and those shoes!!!!!....I want to be your FRIEND!*

I settled into my spot. I chatted with the other amateur performer. I was starting to feel that perhaps I'd taken a brief detour to the Twilight Zone....sigh. She was very sweet, but not a real good listener. Then she asked if I had an extra pair of pantyhose that she could borrow. I said sure (having brought about 6 extra pair.....) She promised to return them. I said that was alright...she could keep them....

I had YEARS of time to wait....It was now 7:45....the show wouldn't start till 10:00. I asked RS if I could walk the stage to get a feel for it. She showed me the three opening in the curtain...Stage right and Center were for entrances....and Stage left for exits. I changed into my steel and chrome platforms and gave the stage a walk. It was much shallower than I expected. (I'd paced off the dimensions on a previous visit and figured it to be 14' deep x 17' wide.) Even though I'd rehearsed in a space of that dimension....it STILL seemed shallower. I also noticed (THANK GAWD!) that the ceiling was MUCH lower than I remembered. I wouldn't be able to hold the sword over my head vertically as I had rehearsed. I went back into the dressing room and rehearsed my movements for a while.

The other performers began to drift in. They mentioned that they were expecting the club not to open that night because of the weather. Everyone seemed very nice and treated me well. Now...I don't do well in situations where I have to interact with strangers...so I thought it best to just laugh politely and be a good little *new girl*. If someone wanted to talk to me...they would. Otherwise, I wasn't going to disturb their routine.

Now...being the *new girl* in a room full of drag performers is sort of like watching a long running soap opera for the first time. You don't know who the characters are, or who the hell the characters are talking about. As a side note...I also felt a bit out of place and rather like an interloper not being gay. There of course is a strong feeling of community there that I wasn't a part of....and the local gay community is VERY clique-ish....so not wanting to step in the *brown stuff* by mentioning someone's name in the wrong clique.....I just smiled....I smiled A LOT! LOL.

The Mistress of Ceremonies finally arrived. She too had been confident that the club wouldn't be open that night due to the weather...so she had indulged in a couple of drinks before finding out that she needed to come in. She'd also had telephone trauma that day....and was in a tizzy. She mentioned numerous times that Thursday night was her least favorite and how it was like pulling teeth to come in for it. She also kept saying that she wasn't ordinarily like this and was far more professional. Despite all of this...if I could instill 1/10th of the professionalism that she displayed that night to my students...the world of theatre would be a much better place. She is a true pro and a DELIGHT (as were all the regulars that I met that night) and I certainly have the highest respect for her. We only chatted briefly, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. Her costumes (which she makes) are fantastic!!!!! I could spend hours digging through her wardrobe and picking her brain as to how she made things.

At one point...one of the performers asked to see my sword. This spurred a brief heart-stopping discussion about whether I could use it on stage or not. I explained that I had ground off the point and the edge...and that it would never leave my hand. I also explained that if it was a problem at all...that I could alter the choreography....Fortunately...the Mistress of Ceremonies decided that the bar owners could tell us not to do it ....AFTER I'd performed. God love her! One disaster averted.

People drifted in and out of the dressing room. The door was kept locked, and when there was a knock...the girl who happened to be closest to the door answered it. The show bar's bartender came in and chatted. He supposed that the crowd would be small to start with and speculated that it would grow during the evening. They'd been getting lots of phone calls asking if the club was open due to the weather. As it turned out....he was correct.

While all this was going on...I tried to pick up as much as I could about make up, padding, and hair as I could without blatantly staring or asking really ignorant questions. Fortunately...there were mirrors EVERYWHERE...(go figure...LOL) so that made it somewhat easier. While the regular girls could hover over another girl's station and watch...I didn't feel that it was my place to do so.

About 9:40, the DJ called for our music. He said with the number of performers that we had we would each do 4 songs......two each show.

*4 SONGS? F-O-U-R SONGS!?!?!?!?!!?*, I thought. *I've only got THREE! She told me I could do as many as THREE! What the hell do I do?*

I let everyone go ahead of me (which I would have done anyway...being low girl on the totem pole). While standing in line pondering the *fourth song* issue...I shifted my balance on my foot and heard a soft but sharp "snap". I looked down at my right shoe....and lifted it. The platform base remained on the ground. What remained on my foot can only be described as looking like a *fetish ice skate*. Only three words can be spoken in such circumstances, and I said them...*Oh, fuck me.................* The weld was obviously not good, and the shoes were obviously not intended to go through the type of abuse that I'd asked them to endure. So with a heavy heart...I sat my poor transgendered butt down in the chair to change into the other pair of shoes that I'd brought...which were gold and would look like shit with my all silver costume...but then I was damned if I was going out on stage in just my hose covered feet. Then I started thinking...*Is this so bad????* At least it happened backstage...and not when you were flinging the sword around during the number. That would have been bad.....very, VERY bad. Extreme disaster had be avoided.....and I thanked my good fortune!

When it was finally my turn to turn in my music....I handed it to the DJ and said that I didn't have four songs worked up...then quickly added that I could repeat one of my songs in the second show so the rotation wouldn't get screwed up. The DJ was HORRIFIED by the idea of repeating a number and said three songs would be just fine. Another problem solved, and another bit of information gathered. One can never repeat the same number in a night.

It had been decided that we would start late....10 minutes late. I would perform in the 3rd and 9th slot. That was rather comforting. I had decided to do my *best* and fastest number first. I’d *Wow* the audience and then have them look forward to seeing me again. Mistake #5. Stupid etc, etc, etc. (After talking to others and thinking about it....this was NOT the best choice)

Having performed theatre for 32 of the 44 years I've spent on this earth....I wasn't nervous at all. I was well enough prepared, and knew what I was doing. I entered on my cue and performed my number.

Did things go exactly as planned...? Of course not! But I knew where the problem spots were and had prepared for them. My balance was off in part of the sword routine...but I knew that could happen and covered for it. At the end of the sword section....I had quite a bit of energy in my neck...and my rhinestone choker's chain broke (AGAIN....it had happened on another occasion when I sneezed...LOL!) and it made a jump for freedom. I managed to catch it before it fell....and then used it for the rest of the number (the song is about diamonds after all...*G*) I was nearing the end of the number and I noted that....no one had left their seat and was eagerly waiting to give me my hard earned $1 tip. Sigh..... I had of course planned for this...but was more than a bit disappointed. Granted...the audience was small...probably no more than 25 people. But I thought, hell...at least my friends...IF they're here.... should have had the decency to tip me. The number ended...I smiled, curtsied and used the stage left exit....empty-handed....but no longer a Drag Virgin.

When back stage...I did a quick mental review. Small audience, but really pretty good vocal response (I thought I'd remembered some hoots and yells.....). Much of it was a blur....but I id'd my mistakes and congratulated myself on covering them. For my first time....I thought I'd done pretty well. I could excuse the fact that no one tipped because of the small house....I wasn't happy about it...but I could understand and accept it. I'd also discovered that more than likely, my friends hadn't come. I was here alone.

My second number went pretty well, too. I did get a bit confused and found myself 3/4 back to the audience....but got myself out of it. GAWD....such an amateur mistake! I mentally scolded myself for being such a goose and moved on. Once again...no one left their seat to tip me. The audience was marginally bigger...but probably only about 10 more people. I also noted that the large table to stage left wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to the show. I'd gained more experience. I'd never performed in a nightclub setting before...and remembered hearing people who did, complain about people who talked and laughed through their act. I now understood ALL about that.

Backstage again...I heard the Mistress of Ceremonies say...*I HATE Thursdays...I did all that for a lousy $2 in tips.....*

Well! It seemed that NO one was getting tips. I felt quite a bit better. I started watching the other girls come back as they finished their numbers and sure enough...empty hands! Ok...I'm still disappointed...but at least it's not just me....*G* I changed outfits...and did touch up on my lips. I went out and got a Diet Coke to drink. (I hadn't had any liquids to that point, because I didn't want to re-tape. (Unfortunately...extended taping....and my equipment are not compatible....while some may have "Arms Short To Box With God", I'm too short to extended tape......sigh.) This late in the evening...I was sure I could hold anything I need to hold until after my number in the second show. While getting my drink, an audience member stopped and said *I really liked yo' numba* or something to that effect...and was all laughing and jolly. I wasn't sharp enough to read if it was genuine or sarcastic. I choose to believe it was genuine. Several people visited the dressing room during the first show. To pass the time...I answered the door, helped with hooks and snaps...provided lights for cigarettes, etc when the situation called for it.

The first set ended. We now had about 50 minutes till the second show. I went out to mix and mingle. I was spared being mobbed and embarrassed by unending praise for my spectacular performance. No one said a word to me. I looked around for my friends...and sure enough...they weren’t there. Sigh....So I went to the bar...pulled up a stool and got another diet coke. (At least they were on the house....LOL!)

About that time...one of my students came up and said that I'd done real well. (He does drag as well, but I'm not real close with him.) He explained why he wasn't in class that day, and asked if he could use the costume shop at school to work on some outfits for his next show. I said *Sure!*. Then he beat-feet.

Now I only had 40 minutes of intermission to endure...so I went back and sat in the dressing room... I tried calling home to hear a familiar, friendly voice...but got the answering machine. Sigh. With nothing else to occupy my time.....I started packing up things I didn't need anymore.

Intermission FINALLY ended. I had the 7th slot in the second show. So I waited. The regular girls were coming back with a little bit of tip money now. I thought...*Ok, all hope isn't lost. Maybe I'll get a tip. My last number is mostly audience interaction anyway.* It was also the slowest number (read as BORING).

While I waited for my last number to come up...we had more visitors. I gathered from the conversation that they were performers from another club. I gleaned from the conversation that there was some rivalry going on between the performers at the two clubs........ and the club that I was performing at was the better of the two. From the examples that I saw....I'd say that I'd have no trouble agreeing with that.

My time finally came and I did the song. The audience was less than impressed. I tried strolling through the audience during the instrumental break. No takers. I finished the number. Moderate applause. No tips. I was pissed. What had I done wrong?????

I asked the Mistress of Ceremonies if there was a curtain call at the end of the show, or if I was done. She explained that she had set a limit on amateurs to 10 and that often there were 10 performing, so no, there was no curtain call or they'd be there all night. Made perfect sense to me. So I took off my second costume...put on my sweats and coat...and did an idiot check to make sure I'd gotten everything. I didn't stick around for the other amateur's last song, so I don't know if she got a tip or not. Perhaps it's better if I never know......*G*

Before I left, I thanked everyone there for being so sweet and making my first drag show so wonderful. The Mistress of Ceremonies said to come back and work with them again. I thanked her and said I would love to....... and made my exit.

The drive home was uneventful, aside from the facts that I didn't remember to turn on my headlights for 10 minutes...and then realized I hadn't put on my glasses and had to dig through my duffle bag to find them....No WONDER is was so hard to see the road...LOL!

Panic's Costume 90% done

Panic's Sword

The *Fetish Ice Skate*

I arrived home in a subdued mood and was greeted by The Goddess and the dogs. All three had to good sense to leave me to myself while I *de-femmed* and took all my stuff back up to *Talia's room*. Then The Goddess and I talked a bit about the evening and ended up going to sleep about 3:30.

SO...... I learned a lot, but I still had questions that really couldn’t be answered until I got a critique of my performance from someone I trust. The other girls at the show didn't watch my numbers, as they were busy doing their own thing, so I couldn't ask them. My student? What's HE gonna say, besides *It was real good* ????? All I had to work with was my own honest evaluation. I know that I LOOKED just as good as the regular girls. No problems there. Were my numbers as *interesting*? No...probably not. But they didn't suck. The audience had probably tripled in size by the second show, and the regular girls had gotten tips. I now wish that I'd saved the *best for last*. Live and learn. And in addition, I should have had a third costume. But there were so many unknown variables at the start of the evening, that I wanted to make the safest choices that I could to avoid problems. I really wasn't wild about taking my wig off for the one costume change because I wasn't 100% sure I could get it back on securely. (I discovered that it isn't an issue. The wig goes back on just fine, thank you....*G*)

Was the evening a success? I guess I'd have to say yes. Did I learn stuff? YES! Do I need to improve. YES....don't we always? Do I need someone else's help to improve? Yes! Did I have fun? Yes! Do I want to do it again? Yes! The only question that remained to be answered is why no tip....??????? and there wasn’t a clear cut answer to that until I could see if my perceptions of my routines was all out of whack or not.

After I wrote all of this down...I shared it with several good friends. When I wrote this ...I’d only spoken to one person about it...Renee. As usual, she was able to cut through the crap and distill the essence of what my experience taught me as only the very best teachers on the face of the earth are able to do. She asked me very simple, basic questions to help me find the answers that I was looking for.

Q What does your audience want?

Through the course of our conversation, we talked about specific things too! Nuts and bolts, *how does that work?*, type of stuff. We also talked about what didn’t work and what could be made better. She let ME identify and recognize the problems. It was so exciting!!!!! But what was so wonderful about it was that she allowed me to make my mistakes and LEARN from them.... another hallmark of a great teacher.

Now...beside the fact Renee was ruthless and heartless enough to make me THINK for GAWD’S sake...she also gave me a very special gift. She told me how proud she was of me...and that she believed in me and knew that I would reach my goals. I can honestly say I will treasure those few simple words for the rest of my life. I’m crying as I write this. We often say that *words cannot express how I feel*. Well...that’s wrong.

Renee....I love you, sis. For everything you were, for everything you ARE and for everything you will be....I love you.

Thus ends the saga of my Drag debut. I’m now working on getting another number together. I’ll hang on to the HINDI SAD DIAMONDS number and dump the other two like a hot rock.

I hope that you prospective Drag performers can benefit from my experiences and that you veterans may get a giggle of two out of the misfortunes of a *Fresh Fish*.

I’m going to try performing again. And why not? You don’t get better by never making mistakes....you get better by not repeating the mistakes that you’ve made in the past!

Don’t wish me *luck* .....give me the traditional theatre wish of *Break a Leg* instead, and I’ll be sure to return the favor when you make your debut!!!!!!

Jade's Drag Debut:  Talia gives her the Best *tip* on Drag.