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Short Stories
A Person of Gender
For the first time in my life, I knew some
famous person trivia that the Goddess didn't.
She ran across Wendy Carlos' website and
was reading her bio with great interest. She was amazed at what Wendy had
accomplished in her career, particularly being a woman in the time in which
she grew up. I nodded sagely as she went on and on.
During the course of our discussion, she
said...*I'm really surprised that Stanley Kubrick choose a woman
composer to do A CLOCKWORK ORANGE.*
I couldn't hold back any longer and said,
*Well, that's because Wendy was Walter back then....*
The look on her face as the nickel dropped
was priceless!
*Oh!*, she said, *That
explains it. I'd read in her bio that she'd done SWITCHED ON BACH, but I
was confused...I thought someone else had done that.*
We had a nice laugh and from then on...
she started referring to Wendy as "a person of gender".
I'm rather fond of that phrase...aren't
you?
It's a MARRIAGE
The other night, the Goddess asked me to
take the garbage out first thing the next morning.
The next morning came...and I got busy
with some inane project around the house. At 2:00 in the afternoon, I
remembered the garbage and scurried off to do the onerous chore.
Shortly after that, the Goddess came in
and said *Thanks for taking out the trash.*
I said, *Well, I just did it a few
minutes ago...I'm sorry that I didn't do it first thing like you asked me
to.*
To which she replied, *You did it
before I discovered that you hadn't. Let's be realistic. It's a MARRIAGE
we're involved in here.*
Driving While Dressed: A Morality Play in
One Act
Certainly there is a good deal of relief
that the Goddess knows my Secret. I can concentrate on me rather than *will
she find out". My self assurance has also been bolstered. It's comforting
to know that, God forbid, should I end up in some trouble while out dressed,
I can call the Goddess to bail me out!
I'm a bit sad that I can't DWD (Driving
While Dressed) now, as I enjoy driving and REALLY enjoyed driving dressed.
However, something happened the last time I went out that made me see just
how right The Godess was.
I was invited to spend a weekend with a
friend who lives in Ohio. The Goddess insisted that I not DWD.
My car is in less than perfect condition.
One of it's little quirks is that the speedometer sticks, so I can't always
tell how fast I'm going.
During the course of the trip, I
considered pulling over at a rest area and doing the "Supergirl"
routine. (Changing into girl clothes in the car) I'd given my word
however, so I didn't.
To make a long story short, I was running
a bit late (as usual) and got pulled over. The ticket was hefty, but at
least I didn't have to explain to the smug officer why I was wearing women's
clothing. I doubt he would have been understanding or found the situation
amusing at all...sigh.
Roughly a year and half after that
happened, I drove my poor old car to a night class that I taught. It
was an extension class an hour's drive away. Half way though my class,
I happened to glance out the window and saw that my car's engine had caught
on fire. I had no clue or warning that this might happen. My car
was totaled. Not three weeks earlier, I had attended an SBS Social in
NASHVILLE. If I had been DWD and the car had decided to give itself a
Viking Funeral that far from home....I'd have been SOL.
The point of this is, things are going to
happen. I'd been driving dressed for two years and had been lucky, but my
luck ran out.
The moral? BE PREPARED!
I'm certainly not telling you not to drive
dressed, but if you do, know that sooner or later, you'll get stopped and
you need to have answers and contingencies prepared .
Life is Too Short
The Goddess read with great
interest the email from my friend that is posted in
Experiences.
After doing so...this is what she said.
*I think that when I get used to this,
it will be like being married to your best girlfriend. Women complain about
men being pricks (selfish, unable to commit, uncommunicative, unwilling
to ask for help, and unfaithful) and here are a group of men (TGs)
who display the very best qualities of women...not the icky ones...so why
aren't these women happy? Unless they go for the "bad boy" types which I
never saw the sense of. Life is too short. Why pick someone out for a
lifetime commitment when you KNOW you'll have problems with them right from
the start???*
Human Sacrifice
The Goddess and I have VERY different
taste in clothing. I think I've mentioned more than once that she HATES
high heels and is generally dismayed by my sartorial choices.
We hit some consignment stores together
over the weekend. I saw a couple of nice formals that I wouldn't have
minded having...but I was reluctant to try them on in the store.
I mentioned that fact to the Goddess and
with the sweetest expression of concern and sincerity on her face, she
leaned over to me and whispered...
"We're about the same size. I could
try them on for you. I don't mind trying them on...as long as I don't
actually have to WEAR them."
Welcome Home!
Several months after I told the Goddess my
secret, she took a weekend trip.
As old habits die hard, I dressed and took
pictures.
In the course of getting ready, Talia did
a full scale house cleaning.
When the Goddess returned, she noticed the
clean house and said, *Hummmmm.....Talia was here, wasn't she? I was
hoping she'd visit. I LIKE it when Talia visits!*
Getting Talia's Goat
I recently scored a couple of party
dresses at a local thrift store. It was really nice to be able to come home
and show my bargains off!
The Goddess said, "You did well with
the red sequined dress, but that black one is WAY too short. GAWD! This is
like living with a teenage girl!*
To which I replied, *It's not as short
as it looks and it'll show off my legs.*
She rolled her eyes.
After she saw the pictures of me in the
dress, she grudgingly admitted that it wasn't too short and did show off my
legs nicely, but she was a bit miffed that I have more formals than she's
had in her entire life.
In order to gain some lost ground, she
teased me by saying *I'll let you borrow my FLATS to wear with that....*
That of course sent me over the edge and
she enjoyed the righteous indignation that she'd aroused in me!
But lately, I've brought things home
from the thrift shop for Talia, and ended up giving them to the Goddess.
I've got to start working to correct THAT
problem.
Even When Absent, She Speaks
While digging through the deepest darkest
cabinet under the bathroom sink the other day...what should I run across but
that DAMNED mascara that started all of this.
I leaned across the sink to drop it into
the trash....and then....stopped.
*This little bottle has had a great
effect on my life....and for the better, I believe*, I thought.
I gently placed it in the container where
the Goddess keeps HER mascara.
Now, every time I wash my hands...I look
fondly at the silly thing, smile, and wait for the Goddess to notice that,
once again there's a mascara there that isn't hers.......
Deja Vu All Over Again
Gawd! What is it with me and
bathrooms???
Suzie and Emma made a weekend visit to see
the opening of a show that I directed. Sadly the Goddess had a trade show
to attend that weekend and missed the fun.
After all the goodbyes were said and hugs
were exchange and I had the house to myself again....I found a silver bangle
bracelet on the floor of the bathroom and Emma's hair on top of the
cabinet.
Emma had realized in Louisville that she'd
left her wig...so that was no surprise....but the bracelet hadn't been
mentioned. So, I packed up BOTH items and stuck them in the mail to Emma.
The next day I got an email from Emma
saying, *This isn't my bracelet*.
*GAWD!* , I thought, *I wonder if I
screwed up and sent Emma one of the Goddess' bracelets?????*
So I called the Goddess and asked
her if the bracelet was hers...and she said...*NO...It's
not MY bracelet. I don't WEAR bangle bracelets. It must
belong to one of the *girls*.*
So I emailed Suzie...and sure enough...it
was hers.
I just can't win!
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